SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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