I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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