Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize