Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
