I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
