the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
