So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize