I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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