Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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