haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize