Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
