Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
