Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
