She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
