i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize