They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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