I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
