No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
