I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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