Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
