theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who died my cat blue again?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize