you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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