Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have already put on my inside pants.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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