How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
