Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
