There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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