dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
