i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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