He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
