At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
