i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize