I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
