He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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