My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
