my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
