She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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