help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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