There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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