Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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