My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
