Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize