I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
