Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
