first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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