Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
