Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
