I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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