Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
