Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
