so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
