i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
