I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
