I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
