you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
