there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
