So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
