he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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