I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
