We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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