too bad you live with your parents still
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
