how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize