My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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