Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
