some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
