I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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