All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
