you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
