We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
