Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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