i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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